A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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