We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
