I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
