is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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