i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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