I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
