i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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