I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
