Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
