call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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