Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
