Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
