We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
