She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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