Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
