I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
