Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize
