haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
