i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
