this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
