I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
