so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize