I'm really into asian looking animals
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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