i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
