Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
