69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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