Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
