You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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