but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
