How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
