Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
