I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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