and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
