You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
