I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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