I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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