If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
