yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
