If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
