I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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