wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and she was petting her beer can
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
