If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
