1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
