no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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