I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
