god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize