Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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