STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's JV to your varsity
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
