you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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