In America we eat man semen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
