I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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