I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
