At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
