your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
