I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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