a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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