Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
