guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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