He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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