i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
