thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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