Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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